disconnected.

What do you do while eat­ing?

Sit down with your plate on your table, smell and taste all the nuances of your food, take one bite at a time, chew slow­ly and real­ly enjoy this whole process?

Yea right.

Thank god we have so many dis­trac­tions handy so we don´t actu­al­ly have to go through that.

Our brain doesn´t want to sit still and basi­cal­ly do noth­ing.
— Espe­cial­ly when it´s used to get fed by con­stant stim­u­lus through our mobile devices…all the time.

Even while eat­ing. Even dur­ing a cof­fee date with a friend (which is more than sad). But even sit­ting in the train and sim­ply look­ing out­side the win­dow (or read­ing a book god for­bid!), is smth you hard­ly see any­more.

This past week­end my lit­tle cousin who´s 16 years old (and has no social media by choice) told me how he has dif­fi­cul­ty inter­act­ing with his school­mates or peo­ple his age in gen­er­al.
They are CONSTANTLY on their phone he said and it seems that he´s bestfriend´s girl­friend has a deep­er rela­tion­ship with her insta­gram account than with the guy she´s with.

I think we real­ly under­es­ti­mate how teens nowa­days are effect­ed by these tech­no­log­i­cal changes, par­tic­u­lar­ly in the past decade.

But we all can relate to some degree…

A time gap in your day?
You reach to your phone.

Don´t wan­na deal with your to-do list right now?
Oh why not check your emails one more time.

Actu­al­ly planned on going to the gym?
Just one more scroll over insta­gram.

Feel­ing stuck with a dif­fi­cult task?
Yep, take your break and make sure you are updat­ed on aall your favourite web pages. For the 8th time of your day.

We all know that feel­ing when we spent too much time on the inter­net when actu­al­ly all we did is pro­cras­ti­nat­ing.
And although nowa­days we have more options and more oppor­tu­ni­ties to learn new things, meet new peo­ple and go on crazy adven­tures — basi­cal­ly to just DO stuff…
..it seems like we waste more time than ever.

The evo­lu­tion of tech­nol­o­gy has brought us to a point where we actu­al­ly need to force our­selves to take a step back — before we get so con­sumed, that liv­ing like a human machine becomes a norm.
(And who knows how the future will look like…“some peo­ple“ out there are per­haps slow­ly adapt­ing us to that real­i­ty..).

And since all these apps and social media chan­nels play around with our psy­chol­o­gy, it´s hard to resist their temp­ta­tion.

They con­trol our emo­tions aka US. Through a small screen.

Any time we pick up our phone we get a small rush of dopamine. Some­thing new, excit­ing and unpre­dictable is always around the cor­ner and that antic­i­pa­tion makes us want it more.
Social Media, cig­a­rettes, alco­hol, food, drugs, COFFEE bla bla bla – Any­thing that releas­es one or both of these two chem­i­cals, dopamine and oxy­tocin, has the pow­er over how we feel and act.

They are tru­ly a bless­ing and curse at the same time.

Awe­some.


Know­ing that, you can make it to your advan­tage.
Or dis­ad­van­tage.

Like I said before, we need to put an extra effort into not let­ting these devices con­sume us too much, oth­er­wise it gets hard­er and hard­er to dis­en­gage, even for a cou­ple of hours.

Because one day, who knows, your body con­fus­es real human con­nec­tion with grab­bing your phone and klick­ing and swip­ing and tex­ting in order to sat­is­fy this human need.
And in this process we slow­ly for­get what liv­ing a human life actu­al­ly feels like.

Just like we don´t know the real taste of an apple any­more.

So yea…being more „con­nect­ed“ than ever leads to los­ing con­nec­tion to our­selves and oth­ers and we are not even aware of it.


Now what?

Seems like the solu­tion lies in the oppo­site:

dis­con­nect in order to con­nect.

Prac­tise how being con­nect­ed (to your­self and oth­ers) actu­al­ly feels like. And do that more often.

Start by leav­ing all tech devices aside while eat­ing and actu­al­ly con­nect with the food on your plate.

If you are not used to it..

..your body will prob­a­bly be veeery con­fused and per­ceive it as feel­ing dis­con­nect­ed.

When in fact, detach­ing is the first step to re-con­nec­tion.


So go…connect with your broc­coli.

jo mai…

Es reg­net.
deine war­men Pullis sind immer noch im Schrank.
Schals bleiben,
und deine Win­ter­schuhe gehen auch nir­gends hin.

In der Sonne liegen?
kurze Hosen?
schwim­men gehen?
ach geh, wir haben doch noch 3 Wochen bis Som­mer­be­ginn!

Ja es ist Mai,
und der käl­teste seit 40 Jahren.
wobei es nicht wirk­lich kalt ist,
son­dern nass und schirch.

Irri­tiert ja nur meine Klei­der­auswahl.

Warmer Kapuzen­pul­li,
Jäckchen drüber,
Schal zweimal umwick­eln..
wenn nicht anders dann halt so schwitzen..

Dieses Wet­ter wider­spiegelt so manche Beziehun­gen wieder:
„ach ich weiß nicht… soll ich?
nein…
oder doch? Vielle­icht ein biss­chen..
aber eigentlich will ich nicht..
hm.“

Men­sch Mai, gib dir nen Ruck,
nutz den Wind um deine Wolken wegzublasen,
wir wollen doch nur draußen im Lieges­tuhl nen Spritzer genießen,
unsere Füße im Gras spüren,
und endlich unseren zweit­en Son­nen­brand bekom­men (ja ich hat­te bere­its einen).

Aber is ok..
Juni kommt bald,
den kannst du die Lust auf Sonne nicht so leicht nehmen.
Juni meint es gut mit uns.
Sei wie Juni.

Aber nein du kopierst ein­fach von April.

Ich sag dir Mai,
du bist ja ein an sich ein tolles Monat,
aber wenn auf­grund eur­er Tauschgeschäfte,
nun auch die Erd­beer­sai­son den Kürz­eren zieht..

dann müsst ihr näch­stes Jahr,
März bis Juni, den ganzen Früh­ling ent­lang,
uns mit dem schön­sten Son­nen­schein beglück­en.

so will es das Wet­terge­setz.

how to avoid GoT-Spoilers

Have you watched the last episode?

No wor­ries I won´t be able to ruin your antic­i­pa­tion, cos I haven´t either.

so.. *NOspoil­eralert here.

If you are one of those peo­ple that still need to catch up the last few episodes,
or that still need to watch the last entire sea­son (me),
or that haven´t watched the whole entire series…

Now that the whole Game of Thrones obses­sion has reached its peak.…

..we peo­ple who wan­der around with no knowl­edge about who died, who won and who kissed who, have to watch out even more, so that we don´t run into any spoil­ers that are hid­den behind every ins­ta-sto­ry, arti­cle or peo­ple chat­ting..

Well I didn´t think about being „care­ful“ at all…. until…

I got trapped when a stranger next to me start­ed talk­ing about how it all end­ed and me then try­ing to become deaf.

You could try to run away or cov­er your ears, how­ev­er in my sit­u­a­tion both were kind of either not pos­si­ble or just fuckin hard to do.

I mean, really..never would I expect the need to pro­tect myself from GoT-spoil­ers in a gym. real­ly not.

Peo­ple don´t talk there. peo­ple lis­ten to music and work­out! (or at least pre­tend to).

But..that´s not where I got trapped..

yup it was in the lock­er room.

While I was just about to jump into the show­er, this girl start­ed talk­ing with some­one on her phone and at some point the words Game of Thrones crossed her mouth and how she can´t quite com­pre­hend the last episode and how this one char­ac­ter [bleep]…

I was like fuck, she is actu­al­ly putting it all out there, does she not know there are peo­ple here?!

Since there was a wall lock­er between us I couldn´t give her some of my „stop-the-fuck-talk­ing facial signs“ so all I tried to do (with empha­sis on try..) was to cov­er my left ear with one hand while get­ting undressed with the oth­er, which was near­ly impos­si­ble because at the same time I tried to cov­er my right ear with my shoul­der, soo.. yea.

I then quick­ly sprint­ed into the show­er and switched on the show­er­head so strong that the water splash­ing and my hum­ming would drown out any spoil­ers com­ing through.

I should have stayed in there longer, cos when I came back I still need­ed to pro­tect my ears from words enter­ing my brain.

(Thank god this whole sce­nario was not cap­tured by a large audi­ence there..)

Well, at some point I got a green light and made it out still com­plete­ly clue­less. EXCEPT of:

noo I´m jok­ing.. I´m not as mean as that girl.
(plus I don´t know any­thing any­way).

So and now? How to actu­al­ly avoid GoT-spoil­ers you won­der?

After this inci­dent I came to the conclusion..there is only one way..

..go watch them.

And to all peo­ple who know the end­ing…

..you don´t want to mess with a per­son who just got spoil­ert because of your unmer­cy­ness.

(yes, I´m ful­ly aware that this sen­tence is high­ly incor­rect. thx).




I lost my phone.

Yep. It went off and decid­ed to con­tin­ue life with­out me.

Bad decision…cos it returned back to me after (appear­ent­ly) going for a swim.

Where the heck did I lose it and why was is then so unfix­able wet on the inside?

Well, lets go back to that fri­day night..

At that beach­bar.

Theme? open air dis­co or in oth­er words:
silent dis­co.

For those who don´t know…it´s a dis­co, that´s com­plete­ly silent.

Well, until you put your head­phones on.

Theeen you sim­ply nev­er wan­na take them off ever again.

And if you won­dered… yep every­one can hear your „singing along“ when they take off their head­phones.

So don´t.

pleace don´t.

You know that sound when some­one scratch­es their nails down a chalk­board?

Yea…it´s that bad..

you know what´s worse?

When you hear your­self the next day on that freakin long video your friend took of every­one.

Impos­si­ble to watch it with­out turn­ing the vol­ume down to ‑10.

But yea, at least every­one sucks pret­ty much the same at singing aka scream­ing to a song.

As long as every­one keeps their head­phones on… you´re fine.

How­ev­er it´s nev­er a guran­tee, includ­ing all the strangers around you, sooo….
Any­thing left to do is not car­ing how stu­pid you might look and sound.

Silent dis­co or Scream­ing dis­co. The only chan­nel you should not lis­ten to.


So back to my phone.

I real­ly won­der…
Who the hell puts their nowa­days immen­siv­ley big smart­phones in their back jeans pock­et?

I´m not talk­ing about you guys…your pants pock­ets are like dou­ble the size of ours.
Girls jeans pock­ets are just not made for stor­age pur­pos­es. They are sore­ly here so you can squeeze in three of your fin­gers, in order to let your arm rest for a minute (and look cool doing so).

So of course my phone would be sit­ting in their, half in half out, fear­ing it could slip out any moment.

Well and that´s where my the­o­ry of „how I lost my phone“ starts….

A: It either just fell out and dropped into the sand – some­one found it, dumped it in water and gave it to a bar­tender, because he has no use for any­thing less than an iphone-like smart­phone.

OR

B: I went to the bath­room, put my phone „safe­ly“ on the toi­let next to the flush and for­got it their (because in my pants pock­et it could fall out — what an irony..)
Slow­ly but sure­ly it, of course, found its way into the toi­let sink, who knows for how long, until it got dis­cov­ered by the clean­ing lady who brought it to a bar­tender. Because again…no use for an old phone, plus… it came out of a TOILET.

OR

C: I lost it some­how some­where, some­one found it, brought it to the bar and THERE it some­how got heav­i­ly drunk on water.
(yea all those some­hows real­ly are based on sol­id assump­tions).

Any­how..

we all know this feel­ing when we realize….shit where is my phone..

For a moment you don´t accept the fact that it might be gone for­ev­er and you think about all the pic­tures and notes you haven´t saved and all the oth­er back­up shit you should have done but haven´t.
And now you also have to buy a new one with the mon­ey you don´t have..

This lit­tle device car­ries so many things for you, remem­bers them and saves them for you, and he, I mean it.. also acts as a lit­tle guide and con­nec­tor.

Ask your­self: What is the one thing you spend most time with..?

And lets include eeverything/one into that ques­tion.

I bet some kind of tech­ni­cal device tops on place one or two..

Actu­al­ly it´s sad to think about it, but at the end of the day, if you add it all up….you prob­a­bly inter­act more with your phone than you do with the per­son you actu­al­ly spend most time with.
Even more sad..we find our­selves doing it simul­ta­ne­ous­ly more often than we think..

Ok cou­ples out there, prove me wrong.

The fun­ny part about my whole phone los­ing thing is…I actu­al­ly told my sis­ter that day that I don´t want my phone any­more, I need a new one.
And it was not the first time I said it (so be care­ful what you wish for).

I mean, I couldn´t even make impor­tant updates any­more, because of my severe lack of stor­age space — for moonths! So that sucked.
And I also wasn´t able to trans­fer my pic­tures onto my lap­top any­more. That reeeal­ly sucked.

So…I guess, my phone knew it was time to break up (by break­ing itself.).

Whether or not it end­ed up in a toi­let..

nev­er deposit your phone any­where near one.
and don´t run and dance around with it in your pants pock­et. high risk of los­ing it..whether or not you are drunk.

but espe­cial­ly when you are drunk.

so don´t drink.



I don´t like my con­clu­sion.

can you dance without music?

Can you?

Ever done that before?

It´s quite inter­est­ing what hap­pens to us when we lis­ten to music.

You can´t see it, you can´t touch it, can´t smell it and still it can lit­er­al­ly change how you feel with­in sec­onds.

I mean who hasn´t felt a lit­tle more relieved and relaxed after lis­ten­ing to „every lit­tle thing gonna be alright“.. ok lets be hon­est, any bob mar­ley song would do so.
(and yes I know it´s not the title).

And who hasn´t felt like danc­ing like a crazy girl scream­ing back to her friends „you are my danc­ing queeen, young and sweet,…“ and for some rea­son not feel­ing embarassed at all.

What­ev­er rea­son lies behind the speed of beats, the tem­po or notes… it can change your mood in dif­fer­ent kind of ways.

Try shak­ing your head and jump­ing up and down to Beethoven.

Yea…no…that just doesn´t work.

On the oth­er hand, some peo­ple can even sli­i­ith­ly feel aggres­sive when lis­ten­ing to clas­si­cal music. Or to take it a notch down, some sim­ply dis­con­nect them­selves from that kind of music, because they feel like, nope that´s not me.
They iden­ti­fy them­selves through cer­tain kinds of music, like hard met­al and if they lis­ten to music that goes against the way they per­cieve them­selves (or want to be per­cieved by oth­ers), they can react some­what angry or judge­men­tal in order to pro­tect their iden­ti­ty.

So it´s not only about the pace, the speed or tone of the music. A lot can be traced back to your younger years, what music you were exposed to and how it made you feel at that time.
You might not nec­es­sar­i­ly loved hard rock at first, but it con­nect­ed you with oth­er peo­ple and made you feel like you belong.

Music is a pow­er­ful “tool” to unite and con­nect peo­ple (just like alco­hol does;P joke aside).

But basi­cal­ly cer­tain songs or gen­res are linked with cer­tain emo­tions – pos­i­tive or neg­a­tive ones.

Like attracts like
Ususal­ly we lis­ten to music because we wan­na feel a cer­tain way.
And we don´t wan­na feel hap­py and upbeat all the time..appearently..

Ever been sad or depressed?

Well what did you feel more drawn to lis­ten to? Prob­a­bly some­thing more Adele or Ed Sheer­an- like (why do I give you exam­ples, that I don´t even lis­ten to when being sad..) Any­way..

Stud­ies have shown that sad music can actu­al­ly make peo­ple feel bet­ter and help them work through emo­tions they are going through.
So it can be a good thing that we feel nat­u­ral­ly drawn to music that rep­re­sents our cur­rent mood.

How music influ­ences our dai­ly actions
It´s quite fas­ci­nat­ing how some invis­i­ble vibra­tions change the vibra­tions with­in our body – and can actu­al­ly change the way we behave.

Ever gone for a run? Or to the gym?
Well….ever expe­ri­enced that moment where you real­ize you for­got your earplugs and now you have to work­out with­out your music?

Yea…you almost wan­na cry and go home.

Music can real­ly moti­vate us, in par­tic­u­lar the faster paced one. It can lit­er­al­ly trick your body to go faster and per­form stronger. Which, when you think about it, kind of means that you already are that strong..
you just need­ed some out­er help to make that hap­pen.

And that makes me wonder….do we rely to a cer­tain degree on out­er forces to help us change into becom­ing the per­son we want to be?

That´s dif­fi­cult to answer, since there is a cheesy say­ing that goes like: „every­t­ing is already inside you“, or some­thing like that.

While that might be true, per­haps we do need a catalysator to start the engine.

Just like falling in love can act as an catalysator to become a bet­ter per­son (in the begin­ning at least;).

Well same goes for music! It releas­es the same feel-good hor­mone as it does when you are in love – oh yes, it´s you dear oxy­tocin.

Music can even cre­ate peak emo­tions, which increas­es the amount of dopamine in your body. That´s why you some­times feel so pumped up to one par­tic­u­lar song — mix it with danc­ing and you could embrace the whole world.

So yes, music does a lot to us.

It helps cre­ate our per­son­al iden­ti­ty.
It con­nects us with oth­er peo­ple.
It helps us per­form bet­ter in life, be it for more focus and con­cen­tra­tion in a task, work­ing out or sim­ply to release stress.
It can evoke our emo­tions like grief, anger, resent­ment, even the ones we didn´t know were there and can help us process them on a deep and sub­con­scious lev­el.
And it can sim­ply make you feel like you are drunk on a com­plete­ly dif­fer­ent lev­el.

Music has an immense pow­er over our feel­ings.
And feel­ings dri­ve our behav­iours.

So why not drink that good-feel­ing cock­tail more often, be it by play­ing an instru­ment, going to con­certs, club­bing, or sim­ply by press­ing play..

We all need help from out­side sources to spark that per­son that waits for us to be released.
Good that we have a nev­er-end­ing pool of songs to pick in any giv­en moment.

And if not..

well..

then..




..there is always singing…












Sources:
https://edition.cnn.com/2019/02/08/health/music-brain-behavior-intl/index.html
https://www.consciouslifestylemag.com/music-and-the-brain-affects-mood/