disconnected.

What do you do while eating?

Sit down with your plate on your table, smell and taste all the nuances of your food, take one bite at a time, chew slowly and really enjoy this whole process?

Yea right.

Thank god we have so many distractions handy so we don´t actually have to go through that.

Our brain doesn´t want to sit still and basically do nothing.
– Especially when it´s used to get fed by constant stimulus through our mobile devices…all the time.

Even while eating. Even during a coffee date with a friend (which is more than sad). But even sitting in the train and simply looking outside the window (or reading a book god forbid!), is smth you hardly see anymore.

This past weekend my little cousin who´s 16 years old (and has no social media by choice) told me how he has difficulty interacting with his schoolmates or people his age in general.
They are CONSTANTLY on their phone he said and it seems that he´s bestfriend´s girlfriend has a deeper relationship with her instagram account than with the guy she´s with.

I think we really underestimate how teens nowadays are effected by these technological changes, particularly in the past decade.

But we all can relate to some degree…

A time gap in your day?
You reach to your phone.

Don´t wanna deal with your to-do list right now?
Oh why not check your emails one more time.

Actually planned on going to the gym?
Just one more scroll over instagram.

Feeling stuck with a difficult task?
Yep, take your break and make sure you are updated on aall your favourite web pages. For the 8th time of your day.

We all know that feeling when we spent too much time on the internet when actually all we did is procrastinating.
And although nowadays we have more options and more opportunities to learn new things, meet new people and go on crazy adventures – basically to just DO stuff…
..it seems like we waste more time than ever.

The evolution of technology has brought us to a point where we actually need to force ourselves to take a step back – before we get so consumed, that living like a human machine becomes a norm.
(And who knows how the future will look like…“some people“ out there are perhaps slowly adapting us to that reality..).

And since all these apps and social media channels play around with our psychology, it´s hard to resist their temptation.

They control our emotions aka US. Through a small screen.

Any time we pick up our phone we get a small rush of dopamine. Something new, exciting and unpredictable is always around the corner and that anticipation makes us want it more.
Social Media, cigarettes, alcohol, food, drugs, COFFEE bla bla bla – Anything that releases one or both of these two chemicals, dopamine and oxytocin, has the power over how we feel and act.

They are truly a blessing and curse at the same time.

Awesome.


Knowing that, you can make it to your advantage.
Or disadvantage.

Like I said before, we need to put an extra effort into not letting these devices consume us too much, otherwise it gets harder and harder to disengage, even for a couple of hours.

Because one day, who knows, your body confuses real human connection with grabbing your phone and klicking and swiping and texting in order to satisfy this human need.
And in this process we slowly forget what living a human life actually feels like.

Just like we don´t know the real taste of an apple anymore.

So yea…being more „connected“ than ever leads to losing connection to ourselves and others and we are not even aware of it.


Now what?

Seems like the solution lies in the opposite:

disconnect in order to connect.

Practise how being connected (to yourself and others) actually feels like. And do that more often.

Start by leaving all tech devices aside while eating and actually connect with the food on your plate.

If you are not used to it..

..your body will probably be veeery confused and perceive it as feeling disconnected.

When in fact, detaching is the first step to re-connection.


So go…connect with your broccoli.

jo mai…

Es regnet.
deine warmen Pullis sind immer noch im Schrank.
Schals bleiben,
und deine Winterschuhe gehen auch nirgends hin.

In der Sonne liegen?
kurze Hosen?
schwimmen gehen?
ach geh, wir haben doch noch 3 Wochen bis Sommerbeginn!

Ja es ist Mai,
und der kälteste seit 40 Jahren.
wobei es nicht wirklich kalt ist,
sondern nass und schirch.

Irritiert ja nur meine Kleiderauswahl.

Warmer Kapuzenpulli,
Jäckchen drüber,
Schal zweimal umwickeln..
wenn nicht anders dann halt so schwitzen..

Dieses Wetter widerspiegelt so manche Beziehungen wieder:
„ach ich weiß nicht… soll ich?
nein…
oder doch? Vielleicht ein bisschen..
aber eigentlich will ich nicht..
hm.“

Mensch Mai, gib dir nen Ruck,
nutz den Wind um deine Wolken wegzublasen,
wir wollen doch nur draußen im Liegestuhl nen Spritzer genießen,
unsere Füße im Gras spüren,
und endlich unseren zweiten Sonnenbrand bekommen (ja ich hatte bereits einen).

Aber is ok..
Juni kommt bald,
den kannst du die Lust auf Sonne nicht so leicht nehmen.
Juni meint es gut mit uns.
Sei wie Juni.

Aber nein du kopierst einfach von April.

Ich sag dir Mai,
du bist ja ein an sich ein tolles Monat,
aber wenn aufgrund eurer Tauschgeschäfte,
nun auch die Erdbeersaison den Kürzeren zieht..

dann müsst ihr nächstes Jahr,
März bis Juni, den ganzen Frühling entlang,
uns mit dem schönsten Sonnenschein beglücken.

so will es das Wettergesetz.

how to avoid GoT-Spoilers

Have you watched the last episode?

No worries I won´t be able to ruin your anticipation, cos I haven´t either.

so.. *NOspoileralert here.

If you are one of those people that still need to catch up the last few episodes,
or that still need to watch the last entire season (me),
or that haven´t watched the whole entire series…

Now that the whole Game of Thrones obsession has reached its peak….

..we people who wander around with no knowledge about who died, who won and who kissed who, have to watch out even more, so that we don´t run into any spoilers that are hidden behind every insta-story, article or people chatting..

Well I didn´t think about being „careful“ at all…. until…

I got trapped when a stranger next to me started talking about how it all ended and me then trying to become deaf.

You could try to run away or cover your ears, however in my situation both were kind of either not possible or just fuckin hard to do.

I mean, really..never would I expect the need to protect myself from GoT-spoilers in a gym. really not.

People don´t talk there. people listen to music and workout! (or at least pretend to).

But..that´s not where I got trapped..

yup it was in the locker room.

While I was just about to jump into the shower, this girl started talking with someone on her phone and at some point the words Game of Thrones crossed her mouth and how she can´t quite comprehend the last episode and how this one character [bleep]…

I was like fuck, she is actually putting it all out there, does she not know there are people here?!

Since there was a wall locker between us I couldn´t give her some of my „stop-the-fuck-talking facial signs“ so all I tried to do (with emphasis on try..) was to cover my left ear with one hand while getting undressed with the other, which was nearly impossible because at the same time I tried to cover my right ear with my shoulder, soo.. yea.

I then quickly sprinted into the shower and switched on the showerhead so strong that the water splashing and my humming would drown out any spoilers coming through.

I should have stayed in there longer, cos when I came back I still needed to protect my ears from words entering my brain.

(Thank god this whole scenario was not captured by a large audience there..)

Well, at some point I got a green light and made it out still completely clueless. EXCEPT of:

noo I´m joking.. I´m not as mean as that girl.
(plus I don´t know anything anyway).

So and now? How to actually avoid GoT-spoilers you wonder?

After this incident I came to the conclusion..there is only one way..

..go watch them.

And to all people who know the ending…

..you don´t want to mess with a person who just got spoilert because of your unmercyness.

(yes, I´m fully aware that this sentence is highly incorrect. thx).




I lost my phone.

Yep. It went off and decided to continue life without me.

Bad decision…cos it returned back to me after (appearently) going for a swim.

Where the heck did I lose it and why was is then so unfixable wet on the inside?

Well, lets go back to that friday night..

At that beachbar.

Theme? open air disco or in other words:
silent disco.

For those who don´t know…it´s a disco, that´s completely silent.

Well, until you put your headphones on.

Theeen you simply never wanna take them off ever again.

And if you wondered… yep everyone can hear your „singing along“ when they take off their headphones.

So don´t.

pleace don´t.

You know that sound when someone scratches their nails down a chalkboard?

Yea…it´s that bad..

you know what´s worse?

When you hear yourself the next day on that freakin long video your friend took of everyone.

Impossible to watch it without turning the volume down to -10.

But yea, at least everyone sucks pretty much the same at singing aka screaming to a song.

As long as everyone keeps their headphones on… you´re fine.

However it´s never a gurantee, including all the strangers around you, sooo….
Anything left to do is not caring how stupid you might look and sound.

Silent disco or Screaming disco. The only channel you should not listen to.


So back to my phone.

I really wonder…
Who the hell puts their nowadays immensivley big smartphones in their back jeans pocket?

I´m not talking about you guys…your pants pockets are like double the size of ours.
Girls jeans pockets are just not made for storage purposes. They are sorely here so you can squeeze in three of your fingers, in order to let your arm rest for a minute (and look cool doing so).

So of course my phone would be sitting in their, half in half out, fearing it could slip out any moment.

Well and that´s where my theory of „how I lost my phone“ starts….

A: It either just fell out and dropped into the sand – someone found it, dumped it in water and gave it to a bartender, because he has no use for anything less than an iphone-like smartphone.

OR

B: I went to the bathroom, put my phone „safely“ on the toilet next to the flush and forgot it their (because in my pants pocket it could fall out – what an irony..)
Slowly but surely it, of course, found its way into the toilet sink, who knows for how long, until it got discovered by the cleaning lady who brought it to a bartender. Because again…no use for an old phone, plus… it came out of a TOILET.

OR

C: I lost it somehow somewhere, someone found it, brought it to the bar and THERE it somehow got heavily drunk on water.
(yea all those somehows really are based on solid assumptions).

Anyhow..

we all know this feeling when we realize….shit where is my phone..

For a moment you don´t accept the fact that it might be gone forever and you think about all the pictures and notes you haven´t saved and all the other backup shit you should have done but haven´t.
And now you also have to buy a new one with the money you don´t have..

This little device carries so many things for you, remembers them and saves them for you, and he, I mean it.. also acts as a little guide and connector.

Ask yourself: What is the one thing you spend most time with..?

And lets include eeverything/one into that question.

I bet some kind of technical device tops on place one or two..

Actually it´s sad to think about it, but at the end of the day, if you add it all up….you probably interact more with your phone than you do with the person you actually spend most time with.
Even more sad..we find ourselves doing it simultaneously more often than we think..

Ok couples out there, prove me wrong.

The funny part about my whole phone losing thing is…I actually told my sister that day that I don´t want my phone anymore, I need a new one.
And it was not the first time I said it (so be careful what you wish for).

I mean, I couldn´t even make important updates anymore, because of my severe lack of storage space – for moonths! So that sucked.
And I also wasn´t able to transfer my pictures onto my laptop anymore. That reeeally sucked.

So…I guess, my phone knew it was time to break up (by breaking itself.).

Whether or not it ended up in a toilet..

never deposit your phone anywhere near one.
and don´t run and dance around with it in your pants pocket. high risk of losing it..whether or not you are drunk.

but especially when you are drunk.

so don´t drink.



I don´t like my conclusion.

can you dance without music?

Can you?

Ever done that before?

It´s quite interesting what happens to us when we listen to music.

You can´t see it, you can´t touch it, can´t smell it and still it can literally change how you feel within seconds.

I mean who hasn´t felt a little more relieved and relaxed after listening to „every little thing gonna be alright“.. ok lets be honest, any bob marley song would do so.
(and yes I know it´s not the title).

And who hasn´t felt like dancing like a crazy girl screaming back to her friends „you are my dancing queeen, young and sweet,…“ and for some reason not feeling embarassed at all.

Whatever reason lies behind the speed of beats, the tempo or notes… it can change your mood in different kind of ways.

Try shaking your head and jumping up and down to Beethoven.

Yea…no…that just doesn´t work.

On the other hand, some people can even sliiithly feel aggressive when listening to classical music. Or to take it a notch down, some simply disconnect themselves from that kind of music, because they feel like, nope that´s not me.
They identify themselves through certain kinds of music, like hard metal and if they listen to music that goes against the way they percieve themselves (or want to be percieved by others), they can react somewhat angry or judgemental in order to protect their identity.

So it´s not only about the pace, the speed or tone of the music. A lot can be traced back to your younger years, what music you were exposed to and how it made you feel at that time.
You might not necessarily loved hard rock at first, but it connected you with other people and made you feel like you belong.

Music is a powerful “tool” to unite and connect people (just like alcohol does;P joke aside).

But basically certain songs or genres are linked with certain emotions – positive or negative ones.

Like attracts like
Ususally we listen to music because we wanna feel a certain way.
And we don´t wanna feel happy and upbeat all the time..appearently..

Ever been sad or depressed?

Well what did you feel more drawn to listen to? Probably something more Adele or Ed Sheeran- like (why do I give you examples, that I don´t even listen to when being sad..) Anyway..

Studies have shown that sad music can actually make people feel better and help them work through emotions they are going through.
So it can be a good thing that we feel naturally drawn to music that represents our current mood.

How music influences our daily actions
It´s quite fascinating how some invisible vibrations change the vibrations within our body – and can actually change the way we behave.

Ever gone for a run? Or to the gym?
Well….ever experienced that moment where you realize you forgot your earplugs and now you have to workout without your music?

Yea…you almost wanna cry and go home.

Music can really motivate us, in particular the faster paced one. It can literally trick your body to go faster and perform stronger. Which, when you think about it, kind of means that you already are that strong..
you just needed some outer help to make that happen.

And that makes me wonder….do we rely to a certain degree on outer forces to help us change into becoming the person we want to be?

That´s difficult to answer, since there is a cheesy saying that goes like: „everyting is already inside you“, or something like that.

While that might be true, perhaps we do need a catalysator to start the engine.

Just like falling in love can act as an catalysator to become a better person (in the beginning at least;).

Well same goes for music! It releases the same feel-good hormone as it does when you are in love – oh yes, it´s you dear oxytocin.

Music can even create peak emotions, which increases the amount of dopamine in your body. That´s why you sometimes feel so pumped up to one particular song – mix it with dancing and you could embrace the whole world.

So yes, music does a lot to us.

It helps create our personal identity.
It connects us with other people.
It helps us perform better in life, be it for more focus and concentration in a task, working out or simply to release stress.
It can evoke our emotions like grief, anger, resentment, even the ones we didn´t know were there and can help us process them on a deep and subconscious level.
And it can simply make you feel like you are drunk on a completely different level.

Music has an immense power over our feelings.
And feelings drive our behaviours.

So why not drink that good-feeling cocktail more often, be it by playing an instrument, going to concerts, clubbing, or simply by pressing play..

We all need help from outside sources to spark that person that waits for us to be released.
Good that we have a never-ending pool of songs to pick in any given moment.

And if not..

well..

then..




..there is always singing…












Sources:
https://edition.cnn.com/2019/02/08/health/music-brain-behavior-intl/index.html
https://www.consciouslifestylemag.com/music-and-the-brain-affects-mood/